Friday, January 20, 2017

Strong outside but weak inside

Hey sweeties and happy Friday!

I want to write about some serious stuff today, I know it isn´t always so fun but sometimes we need to allow the weaker things inside of us to come out. We can still be strong and look strong but in the inside we may be weak and not showing.

As most of you probably know I was robbed and beaten badly last year in february by a drug junkie. Last week it was finally time for me to face her in court, a moment I´ve dreaded for and been scared for. I´ve never been in a court before so the whole thing felt so scary after seeing all those dramatic american lawyer series.

I had mum and Johan with me and also my lawyer and one of the many heroes from that day, Antonia, who chased after her and tried to take back my bag and also got beaten.

It felt scary and weird to sit there facing the person who without any thought started beating me badly in my face that day, many times, while I was lying down on the ground defenceless. To tell to the court and those being there to see the hearing, my story and breaking down and crying when I told I feared for my life and has been scared to walk the streets ever since and have bad nightmares that haunt me still, was hard but had to be done.

Now after the hearing I have even worse nightmares and I am awaiting what the outcome will be, if she´ll be in prison or not. I hope for her sake and others that she will be locked away and hopefully come out from the drug abuse since it will for sure otherwise kill her.

I feel empathy for her but I also am angry since she has messed me up and I still have headaches on the side she beated me. 

What it also did was stur up an old trauma from a thing that happened me when I was 18 years old and also got attacked. I have never talked about this in public but it´s a horrible thing that changed my life and still is with me every single day.

To be attacked twice in life has made me wonder why this happens to me, but there are just no single solution to that and I cant go thinking about that cause life happens for a reason we do not know why.

I just want all of you, especially women and girls to be careful out there. If you walk alone please do not walk in dark places, be careful when someone walks close behind you, when you meet someone that looks suspicious, scream for help if you get attacked!!! That made Antonia hear me and come to the rescue and helped me get this person to the court. 

Know that there are dangerous people out there, dont be AFRAID but be CAREFUL at all times.

Love and light,

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Latest outfits=)

Hey all!

Hope you have a blessed day! I love that the sunlight has returned and it make me wanna wear spring clothes so I have started doing so by using lighter colored jeans and bought myself some new spring blouses from H&M. 

It´s a bit of the 80s in the fashion now and well I LOVE the 80s so I go all in and puff my hair up in a side hair do with some spray, put on some crazy glasses and wear high waisted jeans, voluminous tops and color! Go all in=)

1. Jeans and blouse from H&M (in stores now)
2. shoes ZARA
3. socks and scarf from
4. glasses are old from H&M

1. Blouse and knit from GINA TRICOT (in stores now)
2. jeans from TWO WOMEN IN THE WORLD
3. shoes ZARA

 1. jeans from ASOS
2. blouse and leo heels from H&M
3. top from RAGDOLL
4. socks from studio stilista
5. glasses from MIU MIU

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Hey all=)

Hi all and finally christmas and all it´s lazy days are done=) 

I am so happy to start 2017 and especially since this year is the YEAR me and Jani Liimatainen will release our album!=) 

Just got a rough demo with my lead vocals on one of the faster songs and damn, I love to sing more "metal" and power metal=)
I sure long for you to hear this!

Love and light and be careful and enjoy this weekend!

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Xmas is coming

Hi sweeties,

Hope your week is going great! For me it´s still hectic with long days in the hospital and then also going to school some days like tomorrow and friday. We´re having seminars again and I actually like to go to school except for the long travel. I take the train and it takes 1,5 hour single trip so its 3 hours of just sitting on a train. But to make time go faster I sleep and read a good book and I got myself a new one for tomorrows journey. A new book by the writer of GONE GIRL. Loved that book so hopefully this also will be as exciting=)

Studio is going great and last sunday me and Niclas recorded lead vocals for 2 songs so a great productive day! This sunday I´m doing another one and then I´ll take some x-mas break and be back at it in 2017. 6 songs are recorded with my lead vocals so we´re good on our way.

Gym is going great and I´ve felt strong and fast this week and started to eat more vitamins, omega oil and minerals since I´ve been a bit tired and gloomy and now after more than a week I feel so much better!

Still no snow here and I love it! Seth is away with his dad´s family in Spain enjoying the sun and also my mum is on a sunny trip so bless them both=) I wish I was lying by a pool too!

Love and light

Wednesday, December 07, 2016

Last outfits

Hey all,

Hope all is well! Here its stressy but I´m holding up and looking forward to soon having some x-mas vacation=)

Last sunday I was in the studio again and this time I recorded vocals for a ballad for the album me and Jani Liimatainen are doing=)

Got 2 more new songs today in the e-mail and they sounded as good as the others so longing to record them soon!

Here are some of my latest outfits in INSTAGRAM where you know you find more from me if I´m not in here=) Today I´ve been working all day and then passed out in the couch so no Instagram today but that´s life=)

Sleep well my dear ones!

Fake leather skirt and hoodie from ZARA, boots ACNE, stockings GINA TRICOT, blouse MBYM

Leo jacket from ZARA (last season), shirt BY MALENE BIRGER, leo top GANNI, leather pants GUCCI, boots PURA LOPEZ 

jeans REDONE, blouse RIKA STUDIOS, boots ECCO

Hungarian interview in Sportime Magazine

Hey all,

I did an interview for a Hungarian magazine called Sportime magazine and here you find it=) Maybe google translate works for you to read it=)

Click on the photo to go there!

Thursday, December 01, 2016

December is here

Hi all=)

Oh December is already here and every year it´s the same - december is a very stressful month. As a student it´s always so many tests and exams and I also am doing my new internship in the hospital and this time I work in the mental health care. It´s with the really ill ones and in the emergency department. So exciting and also I felt a bit nervous starting there since not so long ago I was attacked by a mentally ill and drug abusing person. 

But its going well and I´ve in the first two weeks started to get to know the staff better and also the patients and I feel I learn a lot so it´s a rewarding feeling=)

Though due to the long days I am tired and other things have to wait so yesterday evening was supposed to be a recording day in the studio but I was so tired my head was spinning so had to cancel. And I fell asleep in the couch early instead. So priority is some days to rest.

Tomorrow I´m home doing school work, posting lots of items I´ve sold in my store and in VESTIARE but nice to be home=)

Studio will be on sunday again and I´ve recorded quite some songs already so its moving forward really good! Tried out some new songs tonight that I will start to record and now I´ve recorded 4 songs=)

Hope you all have a great week and happy 1st of December! Remember to rest even if you, as me, are in a very stressy time!

Love and light